I promised from the very first post that whatever I dedicated my time to writing about that I would write with honesty and emotion. I am a very chillax person in a sense. I usually brush off the negative things in my life, the drama, the rude comments, the differing views on things, the failed relationships, the oops moments that I wish I could burry deep down into the depths of the earth where I will never find them again, the times where I failed and did not succeed, all of it. I usually just take whatever it is and grow from it and move on and try not to let it weigh on me and to not care. There was I a time I decided to care. I decided to put my walls down after a very long time and stop being so cautious and just be free and happy. I gave myself the hope and the time to devote myself to something far bigger than myself. I let myself laugh, cry, hurt, be happier than I've been a long time and truly just embrace the situation. I made plans for myself that seemed extreme but worth it at the time and I let all my precautions and the nagging in my brain that told me to tread lightly or slow the hell down come to a halt because I wanted to believe that fairy tales happen and people are really how they act and that it isn't a façade. I make a lot of mistakes in my life but those around me enter knowing that I do so and that I try with all my might to move on and grow from all the bumps in the road. I don't believe that people are bad because they decide to change their mind on things or lose feelings or hope but I believe people have the power and the knowledge to know that leaving someone without a reason or explanation on why they gave up is one of the absolute worst things you can do. You leave a person wondering what they could have done differently or why they aren't good enough or just why in general. All of these pondering thoughts being something that leaves a person to believe that they are somehow not worth it. I have watched so many friends in my life and myself go through a situation similar to this that I just hope my generation and those of you who read this understand how truly wrong and hurtful it is. False hope is something that drives right into the depths of all your emotions, it makes you hurt like hell and it does take time to get through but like everything else there is a light at the end of the tunnel (as long as one remembers to turn on the light- thank you J.K Rowling) if you so wish to find it.
On a better note my friends, I got to play in the water today and I got quite burnt but it was worth the laughs and smiles that came along with it. Now on to one of the busier next few days that I have endoured in a long time.
Thank you for reading and stay kind.
