Falling

It's that same feeling that you get when you are going up a roller coaster and you just know the drop is right around the corner. It's the same feeling that you get the night of Christmas Eve and you can hardly sleep because in the morning you get to tear through the pristine perfectly wrapped wrapping paper. The same feeling right before you get to sit down to thanksgiving dinner after being shooed and booted from the kitchen all day. The feeling you get when you see a  puppy or see an old friend after quite some time. It's EXACTLY like boarding a plane for the first time... the feeling of excitement and joy and relief and fear and anxiety... and all the butterflies in the world decide to come in and inhabit the brain, the heart, and the stomach all at once. It's like falling. It is falling.

Papa Radcliffe

All my life I have spent it telling my parents how lucky I am to have had them as my role models, best friends, parents, therapist, and adventure buddies. Not a day goes by dad where I don't thank God for the amazing father figure he has given me. You never failed to show me what it takes to work for what you want and love like hell. Watching you as I grew up made me into the person I am today. The person that always strikes conversations with the strangers at the grocery stores or offers to help someone if they are doing a task that seems like too much to them. You have made me into a person that worries less about what other people will think and takes chances just for the hell of it and the experience. You have helped form me into this hard worker and this person that doesn't want to take shit from anyone but also knows how to forgive easily. It honestly blows my mind sometimes thinking about how great you are. Are you perfect? Mmm. No, but you are pretty darn close. Your comedic humor never fails to make an entrance at any God given moment and your sarcasm is always up there at about a nine. You have made me laugh till my sides hurt and throw a couple punches at you when the time is right. I hope that you have an amazing fathers day and that you know how truly amazing it was for me to grow up with a dad like you. I love you.

Done.

I made an executive decision after last night. I, Kaylee Radcliffe, am going to fast from alcohol for at least the rest of this month. I am over the way it makes me feel and the way it makes me act, plus I absolutely HATE not remembering the night. I understand that drinking is fun, sure. It is a grand time but at the same time I would much rather remember what happened and what that funny joke I heard was or if I was being a dick. It isn't worth it to me to have a little extra fun if it comes at the cost of friendships and feeling poorly about myself the next day. I'm sure a lot of people won't understand and won't think I'm any fun but oh well. It is my own choice. I will still go out and I'd love to designated drive for anyone that needs it but my health, my mental health, my heart and my wallet all need a bit of a break.