To my best friends dad that walked out on them

It's crazy how possible it is to dislike someone you have never met. I feel like there is so much I want to say to you, so much I want you to understand that you never will unless it's spelt out to you. You can't decide to pop into her life whenever you damn well please. That is so unfair to her. Do you really think 20 years later that she finally is going to forgive you for being the dead beat dad that you've been all this time? Do you think that she'll forgive you for abandoning her, your oldest child, for all the other ones you now have? Do you think she'll ever forgive you for walking out and then making her out to be the bad guy because she doesn't feel comfortable with meeting up to meet all your other kids that you've spent loving and raising all these years? Do you think she'll forgive you for giving her the feeling of insecurity and unstableness in her life? Forgive you for never giving her the opportunity to have a father figure in her life? She says that she wants to be at peace with you and she needs to forgive you finally... To hell with you. I've spent endless drunk rambles hearing about how you fucked her up. How it is you that makes her afraid to fall in love because what if they leave, how she would have learned so much more with a male role model in her life. I have spent the last two years, probably the hardest two years of my life so far, glued to the hip of your daughter. She is the most talented person I have ever met in my entire life. She is brave and strong and funny and wild and beautiful and she is a train wreck. The most wonderful train wreck I've ever met. I wish so badly that you could understand how much you have missed out on, I wish you could see that YOU are not good enough for her. You will never be good enough for her. I hope one day you wake up and realize all these years have gone and how damn lucky you would have been to have spent the time to get to know her. I will never forgive you for the emotional damage you have inflicted on her after all these years. You don't deserve a damn minute with her.

And to her mom, thank you for raising your daughter to become the woman she is. Thank you for playing the role of mom and dad and never letting her give up no matter how hard times got. Thank you for showing her what a strong independent woman who needs no man looks like. You are such an inspiration and I'm sure such a role model to all single moms out there. I love you. Thank you.

Innocence

Being a hairstylist I spend a lot of time cutting kids hair as well as adults..Unlike most hairstylist though.. I LOVE kids haircuts, no matter what a pain it is to cut a moving targets hair. And of course I love adult talk and being able to ramble about politics and careers and adult-like humor but there is something truly special about being able to spend time communicating with little mini humans. Nothing makes my day more than being able to talk to a little kid that has a very unfiltered mind that will word vomit whatever comes to their mind. Lately, I have been taking a little bit of inventory on some of my favorite moments...
3 year old Charlie: "Where's Ben?! (Charlie's four year old brother)"
Me: *Twirls the chair around so that he can face his older brother in the chair next to us
C: "Wow Ben! You look like a popstar!"
M: *Laughs loudly and not very cute and continues to cut his hair.
C: "What?"
M: "What?"
C: "What?"
*This continues back and fourth for at least three minutes*
M: *Spikes up Charlies hair and faces him towards the mirror* "Wow Charlie you look like a popstar!"
C: "Wowwwww, I do look like a popstar, but miss.. I don't dance." *Hops down and trots away*

Few days before
Me: "Sam are you ready little man? I can take you back!"
3 year old Sam beams and runs my direction from the toy area at my work: "I want a fancy haircut!"
Me: "Oh a fancy haircut is that right? Well i'm sure that we can work something out."
Meanwhile this whole time Sam is literally grinning from cheek to cheek.
S: "And hair lady, i'm not a little boy actually.. I'm a big boy now, i'm already three."
M: "You are so right litt- I mean big man. You are such a big boy!"
I continue to give him the new "in" look for little boys with shorter on the sides- longer on top and a hard part. "Alrighty Sam does that look fancy enough?"
S: "Oh man, my dad is REALLY going to like this. I look really fancy huh mom, I'm going to look so fancy in my pictures. Can I have some gels now so I can look fanciest?

Random day
Me: "So who is your favorite superhero?"
Five year old boy: *Lists absolutely every superhero I can think of*
Me: "Who is your least favorite?"
Boy: "That girl one."

Several other occasions on the topic of "How old do I look?"
Five year old little girl: "I think you are 12." second guess: "I think you are 32."
Seven year old little boy: "You're 14 aren't you?" second guess: "counts up till he reaches 20 finally."
4 year old little boy: "Are you 60?" second guess: "are you 10?"

I'm sure from an outside perspective these won't be as appreciated as they were to me, but it's these little conversations that I get and having little contests to see who can cross their eyes best, or wiggle their ears or stay the most still during a haircut is so damn rewarding when you get to fill your piggy bank of good experiences with the most honest humans on the planet.

Passion

Every single day I am blessed with the opportunity to have a load of different people walk into my place of work to get haircuts. I have had people that range from six years old to eighty six years old, business owners, news reporters, truck drivers, stay at home parents, hipsters, hockey players, basketball players (every other sport as well), people with disabilities and the occasional personal family member of my own. I hear so many unbelievable stories every day and even though some people like to believe that being a hairstylist isn't that special of a job.. I will tell you that it was one of the most special jobs in the entire world. Not only am I a hairstylist that will do everything in my power to give you exactly what you want but I am also a lot of those folks shoulder to lean on, their ear to vent to, their person to joke around with, and their one person they can truly confide in without any bias. I am a piggy banks of secrets, fun facts, stories and of course the random cluster of hair in my shirt at the end of the day. 

There is something to say about being twenty and finding something I am so passionate and happy doing. A lot of people say they could never imagine going into the hair industry for a load of different reasons. Here is a cluster of random reasons I hear: 

1. "I couldn't handle the hair all over myself!"

2. "Don't you ever have to handle dirty people?"

3. "Sometimes isn't it just gross?"

4. "It seems too hard.."

5. "I just wouldn't like it."

When I was first considering going into the hair industry I looked at every single one of these reasons on why there was no way I could be a hairstylist. Even the first six weeks of core training in school I didn't think that I could go into hair because I just didn't think I was cut (haha) out for it, now.. not a darn thing on that list phases me. Yes. I have hair EVERYWHERE at the end of the day. In my shirt, all over my hands. There is definitely a reason why I don't wear clear lip gloss to work anymore. Hair flies in all directions in the beauty industry lip gloss and hair is like flies to a fly trap, so onay oremay ipglosslay. The hair thing doesn't phase me at all anymore, which is almost hard to believe since it used to itch me and poke me and tease me all the time while I was in school. 

I do handle the occasional person that doesn't have the best hygiene in the entire world but I am also over that. Breathe through the mouth not the nose. I understand that some people don't have as much care for personal hygiene as others and I have not a single bit of room in this world to judge them on that and I have no way of knowing what their at home life is like or what is going on with them. So, so be it. 

"Sometimes isn't it just gross?" Not to me. 

I don't care if you have a medical degree or you are in school to be the next Albert Einstein, if  you say that being a hairstylist isn't a "real" job or that it doesn't take talent or that it wouldn't be hard... You my friend are so damn wrong. I have the ability to completely alter someones hair in the matter of minutes, good or bad, and if that doesn't scare the shit out of someone that has no idea what they are doing then I don't know what does. I on a regular basis bust my ass to make someone look impressive for that job interview, or hot for that date, or to give them an all around pick me up when they need it. I work with formulas and fades and straight razors and the elasticity of hair and even after going to school and being thrown out on my own I still have to ask questions every single day to better myself as a hairstylist. Nothing irks me more than hearing someone say that anyone could be a hairstylist because I know a lot of beauty school dropees and a lot of people that finished school and never went into the industry because they just couldn't do it and I have seen and redone a lot of shitty haircuts from other hair stylist because doing hair isn't easy and it takes hard work to be a good one. In no way am I saying i'm top notch or perfect or even great yet but I like to think that the hard work I put into it is paying off with satisfied people. 

I wasn't actually sure going into it if I would love doing hair as much as I have but now I am head over heels in love with what I do. I am passionate and I am proud to say I am a cosmetologist. 

Side note, I will never be able to thank my family enough for supporting me financially and emotionally and being my pat on the back through this whole journey. I love you and thank you more than words can describe. 

 

The Calm After the Storm

It has officially been one year and one month since I posted my last blog post. I guess you could say this has been the most crazy year of my entire life thus far. I have graduated beauty school, become a licensed cosmetologist, had my heart broken, fallen out of love, gained and lost a few friendships along the way, and above all felt the utter and beautiful silence after the storm. I never knew it was possible to grow up this much in one single year. I didn't realize how much twelve months, fifty two weeks, three hundred and sixty five days, eight thousand-seven hundred and sixty hours, five hundred and twenty-five-thousand-six-hundred seconds could affect someones life. Here is a little bit about how my life is going but not before this quick side note. I'm sure none of this non-sense is very important to many other people other than my family but if it is, please do enjoy. Since my last blog post I did in fact graduate from beauty school.. only after I busted my ass and spent nine weeks in the beginning of summer doing sixty hours of school a week, no one really tells you how being in one building that long throughout the week can really drain you. Weekends were definitely weird because it was crazy to even have a moments break.
I become a licensed cosmetologist! I am in fact doing hair now in a place where I am slowly but surely gaining people that are coming back to me specifically. There is no better feeling than having someone want to come back to you and see you every 4-6 weeks.
I did get out of a very long relationship and I will not get into the ifs, ands and butts but I will say that said relationship helped form me into the person I am and I will never regret any of the times I had. I hope that this particular individual is so unbelievably happy in all of his future en-devours, and I hope that he finds the love of his life and lives happily ever after. I am a highly sarcastic and sassy person and there is no sarcasm or sass intended in any of this, I wanted to make that very clear.
With any type of growing up of course I have lost a few friends along the way. Whether that be in Spokane or Wenatchee.

But here is the whole point of the story. It's a damn good time to be alive. I no longer let the petty bullshit phase me and i've started letting people walk right out the front door of my life if that is what they so please to do. Sadly, this has been the case with some of my former very close friendships but if that is what makes them happy then that is one hundred percent their choice. I don't think I've ever been so serious when I say this really is my year. I have so many hopes and aspirations and so many things I want to do and accomplish and nothing is holding me back. I already have a handful of very fun, adventurous things lined up for this year and I just wanted to let those of you who were wondering know that I am doing well. I am keeping my head up and I am putting one foot in front of the other and I'm not turning back.

11. I want to be a blended up version of my mom, dad and GRANDMA COOK

     You know when you are a kid and you hear about how no matter what your mother is always right? Well this isn't just the case for my mother it's also the case for her mother. My Grandma Mryn has the kind of sass that catches you off guard and makes your breath catch in your throat for a second as you ponder an equally sassy remark back. Sadly, for me, I never can think of one because I always find myself funnier than other people do, but my sister is the queen of matching my grandmas fiery spirit.
     The thing about my grandma is that she is the type of woman that once was the teenager every rebel dreams of being but she turned out to be an extraordinarily brilliant woman. My grandmas the one I go to when I'm too afraid to face my mom first in fear of disappointing her and yeah my grandma gives me the buisness but she also cushions the blows.
     The thing about grandma is that she doesn't let me feel like I'm failing she makes sure that it's just a bump in the road and it's time to start back over even if I'm two steps back. She's also very blunt and sometimes doesn't have a filter but that's what makes her the worlds greatest grandmother. I have never once seen this brilliant woman shattered or even frazzled a bit to be honest, she is always the one with the strong front on and she makes sure that she is always positive about what may come next. She's a heck of a woman and I wouldn't trade her for the world.

Accidents

Yesterday I had an accident, not the type of accident where there's blood spattered windows and totaled cars but a small minor accident. It was the type of accident where both people are stuck thinking it's the others fault and hoping that it is the others fault. I'm a worry wart. Plan and simple. I drive with both hands glued to the wheel because I am already afraid of spokane traffic, accidents happen. My mom said some wise words that made me feel a lot better and she told me about how she trusted me and would feel the most safe in my car no matter what. She also told me about how little scratches can become big scratches when the person wants them to and I realized that this isn't just a car statement, it's a life statement. Don't let a little problem in life turn into a big one just because the people around you are trying to push you to your limits. Stand up and dust your self off. At least I can take my moms wise words to heart even if I can't dust my car off and move on.

And to my dad, props to him for keeping his cool and not toppling over.

And to grandma, you rock. Always. Thank you for always finding the right thing to say at the absolute right time.

On a happier note, school is going fantastic and lots of new and exciting things are approaching within the next six months.

10. A Whole Lot of Love

     Love. Everyone wants it and those lucky to have it most of the time end up taking advantage of it. I have a love in my heart for people that is so deep that it is almost dangerous. I love with all I have and I sometimes get hurt because of it. I love those around me and those that I choose to spend the majority of my time with, therefor I constantly am wanting whats best for them and I try and dish out advice on a silver platter of nice words and the minimal amount of sarcasm that I can muster.

   There's something interesting that I found out about love though. Love is one of the most desirable things in mankind and people dream of achieving a love so brilliant but they are also willing to let themselves be torn to shreds in a matter of seconds to the heart break of not being loved back. 

    I am a typical teenage girl. I love, love. I love my parents and I love my sister and I love my brother and his girl friend and I love my grandparents and my exceptionally sassy grandmother, Myrna Cook. Without love, even for those people around you, this world is so damn lonely. I think I realized truly how much love I have in my heart when I moved to Spokane in September.

     I think what i'm trying to say is love the life you live and spend time with those around you who you have love for and don't ever let go because love is hard to hold on to, so hold on for dear life.

         Until next time, well until like ten minutes from now when I post a truly rad post about my Grandma Mryn and all her sass.